Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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