I got her a Nickelback box set.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
