Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
