He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
even my farts smell like vagina
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
