I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
