By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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