What a fucking waste of an outfit
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
