I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
40s are totally the cure
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
