Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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