So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
