Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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