You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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