u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
