In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
