There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
