Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
