this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
