He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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