New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
