who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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