actually, I'm a sock model
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
