Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize