so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
