So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
