Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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