I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
