its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
