She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
