Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
