Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize