absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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