I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize