I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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