butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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