ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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