Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
