my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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