I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
