Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Panties = found
Randomize
