People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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