I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
