I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
