Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
