I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
