I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize