y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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