somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
