this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
