I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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