I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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