For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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