I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
People with herpes should wear stickers.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
