I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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