it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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