roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
