READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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