I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My vagina is officially offended.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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