First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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