remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
