mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
