Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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