dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize