I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
