every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize