How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dick very happy bro
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
