This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
